Boys & Bacon

There has been a lot going on that I haven't had the time to digest and think through for writing. I made my initial "thankful" post, and then life kinda took off. Nov 2: I am thankful for Connor. My first born, The one who gave me my most beloved title, Mom. He is a little ball of spunk, attitude, and precociousness. He is in-tune with me in a way most aren't. He can see when I am sad or upset, and even when I can't articulate in a way that makes sense for his 4-year-old brain, he just leans in and hugs. No questions, just comfort. Nov 3: I am thankful for Cohen. My last born. The one who reminds me that even if I think I'm sucking at everything, I'm still a good mom. When I get home from work or walk into the classroom to pick him up from school, his face lights up and he comes running. His little hugs and kisses are light for me, and he is learning so much each and every day. He isn't one for snuggles, but when he does get snuggly, it's the ...

I love fall. The leaves, the wood fire smoke, the chilly days. I've always been in a dry climate, we had sun or snow, nothing in between. This is my first year living in a humid location, and the fog is a little unsettling. But I'm learning to admire it's beauty too. Every year, I try to do the Facebook thing where you type out one thing you're thankful every day. Today, being November 1, I shared my thankfulness for my husband. In the past, I've written about my struggles with self-confidence, depression, and more. The one thing that has held me together through it all isn't a thing at all. David has been the rock that's helped me pull my pieces back together, glue them in place, and build new stronger version of myself. He's pulled me out of myself so many times that I've lost count. And there are even times I've struggled against past habits, and it was knowing that he would be there to support me that kept me away from the self-destruct...

Have we not learned from the past? Do we not write and publish to share the news and immortalize the events? In watching a new show on Amazon, I am reminded that the world sees history repeat itself regularly. And yet we don't learn. We are in the midst of a civil rights movement that we've seen before. I'm watching Good Girls Revolt. It's about the civil rights movements of the late 60s and how they were handled from the newsroom of a major New York publication. One of the stories they are breaking open is the FBI inflation of violence number relating to the Black Panther Party. The points and counterpoints that are highlighted sound an awful lot like those relating to the current Black Lives Matter movement. I am pro-law enforcement. However, I do agree that the bad apples need to be eliminated from the industry. Most officers are good people, they want to help. Many are black, so when they are dispatched to a black lives matter protest, they are ostraci...

Today, I read a blog post that froze me in my tracks. It outlined every single aspect of my daily battle with anxiety. Some days, I feel like I can take on the world. Other days, I can't even handle making my way to the kids room to wake them up for school. My son has missed school because of my inability to cope with the world. I work from home most of the time because I can work with people through email, and facebook, and accomplish things with words in silence that I'd never manage in person.  Some days, I'm somewhere in between. I'm neither non-functioning or 110%. I'm anxious, and anti-social for no reason. There isn't some impending event, or tragedy on its way, there are no deadlines triggering it. But I'm on edge. One event can push me in either direction. I can go from mostly okay to being unable to breathe or see clearly because I had to slam on my breaks in traffic or the kids shouted at their toys one time too many.  An...

We've struggled financially for years, barely holding it together. But we keep getting small breaks that will eventually come together to be financial stability, then financial success. Today, we made the choice to purchase a refurbished computer for my work. I do 3 jobs, and I have been using my husband's computer, which isn't designed to carry the weight of 2 active profiles. I'd type a paragraph, and 30 seconds later, it was still in the 3rd word. It was time for a change. I spend upwards of 10 hours a day on the computer between my jobs, not including Netflix while I crochet. I wonder how much of that time is spent waiting for the computer to catch up with me? But the most irritating part of the transition is having to go through and remember or reset all of my passwords. Everything was saved to the old computer, and now, I'm having to resave all the passwords for 3 different forms of employment. Soon to be 4 different forms. But I like challenges, and I...

I started crocheting in a professional, selling my things capacity in the spring of 2012. I was MASSIVELY, planetarily, huge! My first son was born Aug 3, 2012. One of my first, and most successful patterns was for an ice cream cone rattle. It was an amazing opportunity to use some colorful scraps, and people loved them! I sold out every weekend at the Saturday Market Artisans fair I was doing. It was a simple pattern I could crochet up the pieces for in-class lectures, and sew up later. I've pulled the pattern from my old retired blog and brought it over here. Everything in 1 place. Have fun! I'd love to see the finished products! This piece is made in 2 parts which are then single crocheted together. It is created using  amigurumi  basics, and is crochet in a spiral, so don't connect your rows. Materials: Yarn, acrylic or cotton are best for baby gifts, wool for cat toys. Crochet hook 1 size smaller than yarn recommends. Polyfill (this is what I use) or w...

You know those colds and coughs that just stick around? They cling to everyone and everything? When you finally get rid of it, you pick up a toy your kid slept with while they were sick, and you ALL HAVE IT AGAIN! It's here. My brain doesn't function a full operating capacity, my focus is shot, and I get a lot of nothing done. My real estate business took a back burner, the house is a mess, and the only thing I did all weekend was stream Netflix and crochet. The kids played between naps and zoning out because of their colds, and hubby spent the weekend wrapped up and feverish in the bedroom reading books. It was a phlegmy coughing weekend. Ugh! BUT! All was not lost. My traditional fallback is crochet, and because I've been doing it so long, I managed to be productive in the sense that I filled a couple of orders, and designed a new hat. I've even written it down. The pattern will be available soon. I call it the Sellwood Spiral Hat. It's crocheted in a spir...