Boys & Bacon

I want to wish everyone a happy holiday season, and a safe New Year. I know thats generic, but I don't care. I have so many friends of different faiths, and mine doesn't really fit "mainstream" so perhaps generic is good. It doesn't negate my hopes for everyone's happiness and safety. There has been a lot of recent tragedy, and I want to look into a positive light going into the new year. I won't make any new years resolutions, I won't be the fat girl at the gym for the first few days of the year, and then sitting on my ass the rest of the time. I'm going to focus my energy on taking care of myself. I'd like to say things like, "I'll lose x# of lbs and start doing yoga" this is unrealistic. I pour all of myself into everyone around me, and I am working myself into an early grave. I need to focus on nourishing myself before I can give myself to others. I love my kids and my husband more than I have ever loved myself, and it...

In a previous post, I mentioned that I was thankful for a company that appreciates and allows me to utilize my skills. I was able to put my creative thinking cap on for both visual graphics and intriguing text for out recruiting campaign at work. Below are a few of the images that I've developed as part of a sideshow of information about the company, which will be combined with a personal conversation with our company president.

Sometimes it takes me some time to figure out how I want to say what I want to say. My thankful posts are one of those situations... Nov 14: Cooking creativity, I learned to cook at the hands of my dad who really relied heavily on box meals. But I learned to diversify my tastes when I married into a family of amazing cooks. Nov 15: Supportive employers and coworkers. I'll expand on this in a future post, but let's just say it's an amazing opportunity to work for and with a group of people who truly understand and appreciate your natural talents. Nov 16: Technology. I am sitting here (nearly a month late.....whoops) writing a blog post from a computer given to me by a friend to replace the one I'm returning to the store. I just got a call from my mom over a hundred miles away, and a text from a friend in Canada. I've been able to facilitate three home sale transactions with long distance clients in multiple countries. Without the technology of the age, we would...

There has been a lot going on that I haven't had the time to digest and think through for writing. I made my initial "thankful" post, and then life kinda took off. Nov 2: I am thankful for Connor. My first born, The one who gave me my most beloved title, Mom. He is a little ball of spunk, attitude, and precociousness. He is in-tune with me in a way most aren't. He can see when I am sad or upset, and even when I can't articulate in a way that makes sense for his 4-year-old brain, he just leans in and hugs. No questions, just comfort. Nov 3: I am thankful for Cohen. My last born. The one who reminds me that even if I think I'm sucking at everything, I'm still a good mom. When I get home from work or walk into the classroom to pick him up from school, his face lights up and he comes running. His little hugs and kisses are light for me, and he is learning so much each and every day. He isn't one for snuggles, but when he does get snuggly, it's the ...

I love fall. The leaves, the wood fire smoke, the chilly days. I've always been in a dry climate, we had sun or snow, nothing in between. This is my first year living in a humid location, and the fog is a little unsettling. But I'm learning to admire it's beauty too. Every year, I try to do the Facebook thing where you type out one thing you're thankful every day. Today, being November 1, I shared my thankfulness for my husband. In the past, I've written about my struggles with self-confidence, depression, and more. The one thing that has held me together through it all isn't a thing at all. David has been the rock that's helped me pull my pieces back together, glue them in place, and build new stronger version of myself. He's pulled me out of myself so many times that I've lost count. And there are even times I've struggled against past habits, and it was knowing that he would be there to support me that kept me away from the self-destruct...

Have we not learned from the past? Do we not write and publish to share the news and immortalize the events? In watching a new show on Amazon, I am reminded that the world sees history repeat itself regularly. And yet we don't learn. We are in the midst of a civil rights movement that we've seen before. I'm watching Good Girls Revolt. It's about the civil rights movements of the late 60s and how they were handled from the newsroom of a major New York publication. One of the stories they are breaking open is the FBI inflation of violence number relating to the Black Panther Party. The points and counterpoints that are highlighted sound an awful lot like those relating to the current Black Lives Matter movement. I am pro-law enforcement. However, I do agree that the bad apples need to be eliminated from the industry. Most officers are good people, they want to help. Many are black, so when they are dispatched to a black lives matter protest, they are ostraci...

Today, I read a blog post that froze me in my tracks. It outlined every single aspect of my daily battle with anxiety. Some days, I feel like I can take on the world. Other days, I can't even handle making my way to the kids room to wake them up for school. My son has missed school because of my inability to cope with the world. I work from home most of the time because I can work with people through email, and facebook, and accomplish things with words in silence that I'd never manage in person.  Some days, I'm somewhere in between. I'm neither non-functioning or 110%. I'm anxious, and anti-social for no reason. There isn't some impending event, or tragedy on its way, there are no deadlines triggering it. But I'm on edge. One event can push me in either direction. I can go from mostly okay to being unable to breathe or see clearly because I had to slam on my breaks in traffic or the kids shouted at their toys one time too many.  An...